Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Garden of Sorrows

My Garden of Sorrows


Beauty is all around me, yet my soul continues to ache

The trees, the flowers, the signing birds tend to a wound so deep

While nature blooms, my heart sinks. Deeper, deeper…..

Will my eyes open to that which blossoms?

Will my heart heal from that which there is no cure?


Healing, comfort, and joy come to me

I close my eyes to remember, I embrace the tears as they flow

You are near me, you surround me with your presence, your love,

your light

In my Garden of Sorrows, my healing blossoms, with you by my side...




This drawing depicts the broken hearted. Although life continues to blossom and flourish, the wounds that death brings to the soul may be overshadowed. It is when the wounded transform from the sadness to remembrance that they can see the beauty that surrounds them. This transformation does not have a timetable. It may be months or years, or in some cases, never. However, once the transformation occurs, a sense of peace and tranquility can soothe even the deepest wounds. Though the wounds may be tended to in a newfound perspective, the scar will forever remain.

When my son, Jason died, I was in so much shock and disbelief. How is it possible that he is gone? How is it possible that I watched him take his last breath, that I heard him utter his last words? Did this really happen? Was it just a nightmare? The shock wears off and the reality sets in. Yes, he did die. Yes, his body is gone. Yes, I am a bereaved mother. This is my new life. This is who I am now.

I realize that I have several choices following Jason’s death. I could harden my heart to those around me and could sink into a place so dark that the light around me makes no difference. I could let my grief stop me from fulfilling what I am capable of achieving. I have a choice.

My son is too important to me to stop living. I need to live my life in a positive, productive way. I need to let him live through me. I am making the choice to be a happy person, despite the incredible sadness that will always have a home in my heart. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where the world seems like an unfair, hateful place, there are days where my Garden of Sorrow has no light. It is at these times that I am trying to make the conscious effort to life up my heart, take in the air around me, and smile at the beauty in my Garden. Life and death are close companions and in my Garden of Sorrows, I can embrace both.


In Loving Memory of my Son, Jason Michael Sanchez

04.02.1997 – 09.11.2008

Forever in our Heart

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Donita,these are such meaningful words! well said sister u always amaze me. You are such a wonderful and strong person..love u always sis,ang

Unknown said...

Donita, No one will ever know your pain and sorrow. The Lord has touched your heart in such a way that you are able to communicate these feelings with such grace and heartfelt emotions. You amaze me too! We are so proud of you, the woman, mother, wife, friend and advisor you have become! Your Garden of Sorrows may at sometimes have no light, but you continue to blossom and flower. I cannot tell you how overfilled with pride I am for all your many accomplishments. You are a fine young lady, mother and wife. You continue to shine and set that wonderful example for your family. Love you always, Aunt Janice p.s. I think Hallmark should hire you!! :)

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